A little about me. I am all over the internet. If you'd like to see my other blogs and books I'm in, check out Michelle Grewe. Warning, my main blog speaks secular tongue.
My Journey
A little secret about me that I don't tell too many people... I got psychic in the middle of age 34. I don't believe in psychics or the occult, but my house is haunted, and things happened, and now I hear the spirit world. While I have fully humored the notion that I could be crazy, I have recorded some of the voices for others to hear, and others do hear them. Not everyone, but enough to make me think it's real.
Most of it is nonsense, at least from my perspective. Considering hell lies a lot, it's hard to tell who is who, and what is truth. I really only get to see them in my dreams, and all my dreams are now vivid, and either really amazing or nightmares that would make most people suicidal. I have had many spiritual battles of all types with this experience, and this blog is my way of keeping my eyes on Christ.
I do not consider this a gift at all. It's more of a curse.
But instead of running away from it or embracing the evil, I decided to approach it like Christ. I frequently give the Jesus Prayer of the Desert Monks to ghosts of people. Many times, it seems they see two lights and are unsure which way to go. Seek and ye shall find. It's so easy to forget. I preach to hell about goodness, love and mercy. I figure if God doesn't forgive them someday, the least they could do is make hell a little more like heaven for sake of ending the suffering. The fallen angels really have no excuse as they do know better, and I don't mean that in a self-righteous way. I mean that in a logical pursuit for power. As of now, hell is fighting over my soul. They aren't fighting God. They are fighting each other. They believe I will bring them power, but I don't think it's my power they really are seeking. I think they have confused God's power for mine. Beings from other dimensions gave up on the idea of God a long time ago. He's a myth in their world of occult practices and New Age concepts. I try to give them evidence that He's real by the spiritual observations they make about my life. Unlike humans, most of these beings are very spiritually in tune. Other gods at this point are simply observing. God has kind of been quiet in their worlds, and they honestly didn't think He existed or would waste His time with a simple human. Every spirit around me has their own agenda, but God is the only force looking out for my best interest.
God is definitely with me, every step of the way, and there's no way I would be alive with a healthy mind if it weren't for God. So many spirits have tried to possess me, but they can't. God did something to protect me from that. They have tried to kill me with their occult practices, and all have failed. I think they have tried every method they know, methods that work on most people that usually take the form of illness, and so far, the assassins keep failing. Strangely, my mental health has improved in many ways. I think most people who experience this would be in a suicidal state of psychosis. I kind of was at first, but ever since the dream where an angel in armor carried me to a cloud the color of a sunrise, and placed me upon a stone table in the middle of a huge Greek like structure, I have been fine.
I hear His voice sometimes, but my best conversations come from the way I always prayed back when I didn't have a psychic bone in my body whatsoever. We speak to each other in abstracts, and it's the ONLY private conversation I get to have at this point.
I know what the demons do now that nobody really notices. They speak to your souls, and sometimes, the peer pressure seeps in. They can't make you do anything you don't already want to do, but they will take that evil seed inside you and nurture it. Many times, fear stops people from pursuing evil, and they use that fear to talk you into it. I think everyone has said at some point, "I will kill you," to someone or about someone without really meaning it. A demon will take that half-hearted sentiment and make sure it's a half-hearted sentiment.
Because of this experience, I no longer have faith that God exists. I KNOW He exists. My faith is that I believe He is God of all, and His power will conquer anything, and most importantly (where the fallen have failed), I have faith in His Will and that it's the best possible outcome of all possibilities.
I used to be that wide-eyed hungry girl who took Christianity and gave it a liberal spin. I still do to an extent, but this experience has made me realize how important the conservative qualities are with religion. I know I sound arrogant when I say I don't think most people could do what I do, but it's not arrogance. Honestly, besides God, I think the biggest reason why I'm not in a looney bin is my autism. I'm wired differently than most people, and I'm realizing the way people are wired, the odds are NOT in your favor, but God defeats those odds. For the same reason my autism keeps me stubborn about my morality and principles, blind faith in something you don't fully understand keeps you more stubborn about your principles than trying to understand it.
There is a point where you know enough to make you dangerous, but not enough to get through it. The occult, the New Age practices, those things usually fall into that category. Yes they are right with a lot of their methods. Meditation is good for the soul. There is a spiritual world you can be in tune with. Those stupid stones and crystals do bring power of some sort to you, but there's SO MUCH MORE TO IT THAN THAT. All I can say is when you do those things, you separate yourself from the ONLY real protection and are going it alone. It's not something you can handle alone. The fallen angels are very powerful, more powerful than crystals and stones. More powerful than a curse or a spell. More powerful than even the most spiritually in-tune human. The ONLY power greater than the fallen is God.
The fallen hate humans. They can't stand you. You are a cockroach of hell. If you think America treated slaves badly, hell takes it to a new level. Being their slave is the best outcome for you in hell because the other option is to fall into the Pits of Hell (or being thrown into it), and there you have no memory of anything except pain. Heaven, on the other hand, is nothing but peace and joy. It is a paradise designed by the same genius who designed your brain, the cosmos, and all the glory you find in math, physics, and nature. Earth is not His Paradise. His kingdom in heaven is. I'm not saying this to scare you. Fear will take to you to the dark side. I'm saying this to tell you how important this is. Maybe I am crazy, but if you believe in God, die and find out I was crazy, nothing will happen any different than if you didn't believe in God. BUT, if you don't believe in God, and upon death find out I was right, that will really suck. All I can say to you is Seek and ye shall find. I hope that holds true in hell.
What does From Dust to Essence Mean?
The mind, body and soul make us who we are. It is the trinity of our being here on earth, the Father (mind), the Son (body) and the Holy Spirit (soul).
Christianity upholds the belief that our bodies were made from dust when God first made Adam. Science proves that our bodies return to dust when we die, and is speculates we are made from stardust. The dust symbolizes all that we are of the earth. The superficiality of the things we do. The material things we possess. The dirt we should regularly clean out of our being; the dirt that we someday will leave behind.
When we die, it is believed that our soul will carry forward to another life. Science has attempted to prove this phenomenon with a paranormal science that studies death and the body during death. Some have seen an electromagnetic spectrum of a soul exiting the body, if you wish to believe that's what it is. I read once that Hitler performed death studies and documented that the body loses some weight upon death, something they thought to be the soul leaving the body. People who have witnessed ghostly encounters believe there is a soul haunting the earth for whatever reason. There is definitely some sort of essence about all of us that we just cannot prove exists. This is where faith comes into play.
It is my belief that the soul travels to its destination upon death. Heaven or hell. Or it lingers on earth lost. I also think it's a choice we make in life, where we end up.
The mind is the transition factor. The mind connects the soul and the body. The body cannot operate without the mind telling it what to do. The body also tells the mind everything it sees, feels, smells, tastes, and hears. Then our mind processes that information and perceives. It is with that perception that our mind connects to the soul. It tells the soul about its experiences and the soul in turns tells the mind about its essence. The mind tries to relay it back to the body. They are all interconnected with the mind being the middle man playing messenger between the two shells speaking a language Carl Jung started to translate.
I think our destination is decided between the values the soul desires, the things our minds focus on, and the trials our bodies endure. All of these factor into the overall essence that leaves the body upon death. It is by the decisions you make and the way you live your life that determines whether your overall essence is good, or evil. BUT, the essence you are affects the decisions you make and the way you live your life.
So this blog is about my experiences between my dust and my essence. It's about how I try to live my life for God. How I try to embrace His Love and how I walk through that valley of the shadows of death with God as my light.
I am a Christian, but I'm not your average Christian. I am definitely not the Sheeple type. Everything I believe, I searched to believe it. Some of my beliefs change as I grow, and others remain the same. I also believe in science. I think educating the brain is one of the most important things we can do for society and for ourselves. Not all of science is fact. Most of science is experimenting with ideas and beliefs to find truth. Instead of prayer, science uses the earth and mind, tools God gave us. I also believe in the freedom to believe whatever you want. God gave us all free will. I think he wants your decision to be with Him to be your decision. I think the person who knocks on His door is going to find so much more than the person who answered a door and listened to someone spreading the gospel.
So with all that said, welcome to my blog.
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